If you are a mom (or a GRAND mom, like moi), you are challenged to stand in front of your full-length mirror butt-naked after a shower, and ask yourself some serious questions. Questions like, How is your self-esteem these days?
If I am honest with my naked self, do I tend to overreact or blow things out of proportion and then feel guilty… then get depressed? Have I ever forgotten to pick up my child (or grandchild) from school or a friend’s house?
Have I spent years struggling with (supposed) anxiety and depression?
“Yup”
Have I been prescribed a variety of antidepressants or anxiety medications but I feel like something else is going on?
“Definitely”
Did the antidepressant do little to nothing for me?
“Got that right.”
Have I ever questioned my doctor’s diagnosis of depression or anxiety – even if silently, in my own mind?
“ALL the time!”
How often do I wonder if, or sense that, “I am different somehow?”
“Dude! It’s as if everyone I know is on page 46 and I am re-reading page 25 for the 7th time… but only because it’s Fifty Shades of Grey and I’m practicing that part”
How many days of the week do I feel like a failure?
“Ten.Ten days a week.”
If I am honest with my naked self, do I tend to overreact or blow things out of proportion and then feel guilty… then get depressed?
“Crap! Is someone creepin on me with a hidden video cam?”
Am I angry?
“Maaaaybeeee?”
What is underneath my anger?
“I don’t know! I don’t even know what’s under my bed!”
Have the stresses of motherhood caused me to feel like being a mom is more like a 20 year stint in prison than a joyous time in life?
“Yeah, pretty much” “Oh, awesome… I admitted that out loud”
When was the last time I broke down emotionally and just could not function?
“Five minutes ago”
Has procrastinating become the way I roll?
“I’ll answer this one tomorrow or – never”
Do I struggle with time management and the chaos that ensues?
“Am I REALLY gonna go there right now? Nope… just had a HOT shower and it’s 2 AM…”
Do I feel the unending pressure to be organized and self-controlled?
“Duh”
Am I really “in charge”of keeping everybody else organized?
“Yes. This IS my circus. These are my monkeys, and I am the Ringmaster”
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“Crap! I AM freaking out now! Some creeper has GOT to be all up in my PERSONAL, private time here…”
Does time get away from you?
“I KNOW what time it is. It’s fricken 2 AM and I’m standing here butt-naked in front of a mirror, TALKING TO MYSELF….”
Do I frequently end up paying late fees for everything from daycare to credit card payments?
“Uh”
Be honest.
“OK. Well…. Crapity crap, crap! The Verizon bill is in the bottom of the Sonic bag covered in Kyle’s barf… probably still in the driveway…” …sigh…
Have I ever forgotten to pick up my child from school or a friend’s house?
“Sam!” “Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!”
Do I hit the snooze button too many times most mornings and frequently end up at work late or a frazzled mess?
“At least I’m a HOT mess!”
Do I feel awkward or uncomfortable in social situations?
“Bahahahahaha! Not after a lovely shot (or FIVE) of Cherry Coke #2!”
Am I the life of the party?
“Yes! Great! I’ve got SOMETHING going for me!”
If you answered “yes” to the last question, consider wether you are the life of the party, but, NOT in a good way. For example, do you drink a little too much and then feel guilty or embarrassed the next day?
“Um”
Do I drive too fast because I’m running late – again?
“Hey, not ever in school zones!”
Have I been at fault in more than two auto accidents in my driving career?
“Yay me. Only one”
Do I “collect’ speeding or expired meter parking tickets?
“I admit, the tickets are written; but, I DO NOT collect them. I just lose them. In the bottom of a Sonic bag filled with Kyle’s barf”
Throughout your lifetime have you felt demoralized, anxious, depressed, misunderstood, frustrated, isolated or angry, hurt and vulnerable?
“You mean like right now?”
How is your self-esteem these days?
“Seriously LMAO right now!”
What is the state of your marriage relationship?
“NOT going there. It’s 2 AM for Pete’s sake.”
Are you content and happy for the most part, or do you fear something dark looming in the corners and you feel afraid to turn on the lights to take a better look?
“Now I’m just going to go ahead and cry…”
Am I ugly crying now?
“uhhuhsnuf”
If you are ugly crying now or if you snort-laughed your way through this blog, it’s time to make a mental list of the many ways in which your life could be “different, better, more” by spending just 1 hour each week at the Kitchen Table chatting over coffee with another woman who GETS IT. GETS YOU. Four weeks from now, you could be feeling hopeful, clear-headed, focused, logical and even happy!
Curious? Let’s chat.
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